Thursday, November 12, 2009

Liar, Liar

Night # 3. I put him down at 7pm. He cried for four minutes.

(space for emphasis!)

I checked in a bit later and found that he is doing his usual starfish impression with the flung out arms and adorable peaceful face. Not a peep since.

So dear friends, needless to say, I've joined the ranks. I'm a believer. He's learning a new skill, and doing a freakin' great job. Clearly all of the fish oil that cute hubs gagged me with is working. Our son is a genius.

I thought you people were lying. No offense, but I really didn't believe you when you said that it's not just selfish people wanting a life back (I mean, how rude!) but it's better for the child. You said, Jane not only is it better for you, but guess what? better for you is better for the child and he's got a skill for life, blah blah blah. I thought y'all were mean-spirited cry-lovin' people and you were all trying to make me into a baby terrorist.

But now, I'm an evangelist for your team. I mean, four minutes? Really? God bless him, I do think he's happier. I used to feed him all the way to sleep, now he doesn't have to wake up :40 minutes to burp.  Or wake up going 'Ok. I don't think I drank that  much, but last I remember I was in her arms and it was warm and now I'm in this crib, wtf wahhhhhhhhh!' God forbid it was looking like beginnings of a black out drinker. I just saved him from hours of life not having to go 'Hi my name is...'

The first night after I wrote the last post, skeeeroll down if you want to see what I"m talking about, turned out to be a pretty rough night. I stayed up typing to you to give him the preemptive 11:30 feeding, went great, he went right back down. Bed at 12. I was planning to feed him again around 3:30 to avoid the usual 4:30 or 5 feeding. It's the way the pretty ladies at sleepy planet recommend you wean night feedings: wake him up an hour before he usually eats. Feed him some. Slowly each night make it less and less, then you're done. We'll see, but so far, so good. I gotta say, I kinda want to make out with these chics. Not in a hot MLF on MLF kinda way, in a OMG you've just saved my life kinda way.

Back to the action. Unfortunately he beat me to the preemptive 3:30 feeding and woke-up and cried at 2:30. So. We did the routine. Check in at 5 minutes. Check in at 10. If he stops crying for longer than :30 seconds wait to start a new round. Moral, it was 45 minutes of this. Then I had to wait for 15 more minutes to make sure he was back down to go back in and wake him back up to feed. Did that feel broken? Yes. Poor guy just got back to sleep and I'm in there bugging him with a boob.

But! He fell right back to sleep and slept very peacefully til 6:30.

However I did not. I could not get back to sleep. Could not, no way, not happening. So, on night one I got 2.5 hours of sleep altogether. But! if last night (only 20 minutes of half-hearted protest and no problem going down both times I woke him to feed) and then this four minute magic tonight have any bearing on my future...I think it will clock in as fawking worth it.

But we'll see. Ebbs and flows. Teeth will come. Sleep will go. Illness will come. Peace will go. But you know what? I think I just got out of baby jail. I can hire a babysitter and go out after 7. I feel like a blinking stumbling hostage who wandered into the sun with just a little bit of rope burn and a silly big grin of freedom. My nights! Are back! Ahhhhhhh maaahhhh god!

Thanks again for your support y'all. It is truly, totally, utterly helpful.

PS - He doesn't sleep on our bed anymore- he's a crib lovin' dude. And the blanket is not over his face, I swear. In fact, here's the close up:

PPS - How cute is this?

PPPS - He's starting to cry right now. Drat. This is the result of the gloat, karma moves fast.

PPPPS - It's not a cry, it's a little coo-ing whimper. Hmmm, now what? Damn I wish I had a video monitor.


  1. Woo hoo! Four minutes is awesome.

    Now, you'll have to forgive me for my confusion, okay? I have a question.

    WHY is he eating so many times throughout the night? He should be able to go without is probably just a habit.

    Let him CIO when he wakes up in the wee hours. (I know it sounds mean, but it will work! And it won't take long!) I did this with #2 & #3 and they both sleep 12 hours now. In. a. row.

    I probably just stressed you out so you can ignore me if you want. :)

  2. Yippie! I'm so glad for you! I know it's very difficult but so very worth it. I've been there and done that so I can talk. When illnesses come, and when he wakes up one day thinking he's going to test you (and he will), just play it by ear. When mine are sick, I do what needs to be done, but as soon as they are better, it's back to the cry it out days. Don't worry, they have never been as stressful or long as the first time. Maybe one or two nights of 10 minutes.

    Oh yeah...I love his sleeping photo where you can see his sweet baby belly. So cute!

  3. Congratulations! You are entering a wonderful phase where he goes to bed earlier than you would ever want to go out anyway, so you can actually still put him to bed and then a babysitter can come over and he never even knows you are gone!! It is the best...and it does not last! You then enter the phase where your husband is in the car with it running and you are rattling off last minute instructions to the babysitter and the child is haning on your leg crying. You finally leave and try to wash your guilt down with your first glass of wine.

  4. We broke down. Last night, Baby was crying so much on a middle-of-the-night wakeup that my husband proposed she might as well be "crying it out" in her crib. Then he wanted to call the whole thing off after 15 minutes. But luckily, once he had the guts to get us going, I had the backbone to keep us from picking her up.

    Last night she cried for TWO AND A HALF HOURS straight. Traumatic all around. But this morning she was happy and seemed to still love us, so that was a good sign. Tonight was an hour, which is at least progress. And 10 minutes on her first wakeup an hour later. We have the same feeding problem that you do, so that's definitely a complication. We've decided to feed her 2x/night for now -- a big change for her, but still enough that we don't feel we're suddenly starving her!

  5. Thanks y'all! Good news, good baby. So Rebecca - he was down to one feeding and then sorta snuck another one in there. So I'm 'weaning' the night feedings right now, after tonight - no more nights. I'm a sap, but I'm going to miss the stumbly sleepy time in the rocking chair with him. But, let's be clear - not that much...

  6. Oh Tara. Oh man, that's so hard...good for you for hanging in there. Someone gave me the advice that it was important that I telegraph confidence in the plan and that it would help him immensely, (and me) and it's totally worked. Wishing you the best...