So I hope you have the music playing as you read, thanks for playing along...
I've got a serious problem over here.
That adorable boy?
The one who is about to turn one in a few weeks?
The one who has grown about 14 pounds of hair in recent days?
The one who brings love, laughter, copious snot and a newfound joy I've never known?
Yea, that one. The BHB.
He bites!!
It's brand new today. I'm kinda freakin' out.
You: Um, actually Jane, I know for a fact he's bitten you before, you
Me: No!...I mean, yes, you're right. He has bitten me in the past, but what I'm talking about now is the ole 'I've got him in my arms and the exposed tank top shoulder get's a chomp taken out of it', or the 'boy my neckline hem thing must look delicious but oops he got which a nice hunk of flesh out of the same milk providing mechanism but from a different angle'.
You: Welcome to motherhood.
Me: Dammit! I knew you were going to say that.
I mean, I know about the two year olds who bite. I know about the terrible terrible two's and while I was NOT judging you momma's who have the biters I was secretly, smugly convinced that my little angel would never bite me (he would love me too much) and while I'm sure your kid loves you...Uhm, well, I got nothing for ya, but I just KNEW it wasn't going to happen to me.
And here I am! And he's only not even one.
Not even one.
Slump. Sigh.
So how am I supposed to deal with this dear Momma's? How do I not drop him? I almost did tonight, I was so surprised when the sharp pain ripped through my consciousness, my hands unconsciously let go. Yes, I think it was a release and catch program, thank god for my cat-like reflexes. I have a very difficult time with gravity, the benefit is that because I drop crap all of the time, I'm really good at re-catching it. Which I did.
So I look forward to hearing your thoughts. In the meantime, I'll leave you with a few of the images that were captured tonight of the danger lurking in the water.
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| Don't be fooled by the sweet smile... |
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| chompers |
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| check it out! all of that hair even looks like a dorsal fin! |
Needing a bigger boat,
